Embracing Discomfort for Personal Growth with Your Horse

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As an equestrian striving to break into the show ring with a green horse, I’ve faced numerous challenges.

In previous Publisher’s Notes, I’ve shared stories about Kevin, my young Thoroughbred. I’ve owned him for three and a half years, but we’ve only been working as a team for the past year. Our first ride together was in May 2023, and we had our debut show in December 2023. Initially, Kevin was trained at my trainer’s farm, limiting my rides to once a week until April of this year. Since then, he’s been at my home farm, allowing us to ride an average of three to four days a week. We have accomplished so much since our first ride, and especially since April.

Kevin is helping me achieve many of my goals as an equestrian. My primary objective when I bought him was to return to consistent riding after seven-years of limited riding. My second major goal was to participate in local horse shows, something I barely did as a child or young adult. While I acknowledge that I won’t be competing on a major A circuit, I still want to be involved in my local shows and horse community.

This is an opportunity I’ve worked hard to create, and I’ve been patient with Kevin. I believe I placed him in the right environment to restart after his racing career, and surrounded myself with a supportive team that wants to see us succeed. However, my nerves are getting the best of me on some days, and especially as our next show approached.

Since Kevin has been home at Abbott Farm, we’ve been riding consistently. However, I was not able to trailer Kevin off the property for lessons until the week before our June show. I considered withdrawing from the show entirely or at least competing in a lower division. Doubts filled my mind, making me question the purpose of showing. Is this truly what I want to do? Riding is supposed to be fun, yet the thought of trailering and showing felt anything but enjoyable.

So, who knows a good sports psychologist, because I clearly need one.

When I feel stressed, my immediate reaction is to escape that stress. With the upcoming show, my mind was shouting: RETREAT, RETREAT! I remember training for my first half marathon, struggling to push past the three-mile mark. The physical stress, including hip pain, made me want to quit. Yet, I pushed myself over that three mile hurdle. I remember the pain lessened, and my endurance improved. Soon, I was comfortably running six, seven, and eight miles without walking.

I feel like Kevin and I are at that three-mile mark. New environments are intimidating for Kevin, and his spookiness and inexperience amplify my stress, which in turn heightens his anxiety. Despite my doubts, I pushed through and arrived at the show, ready for spooks and extra excitement. Many equestrians opt for horses with more experience, but I cherish the sense of accomplishment that comes with overcoming challenges, which is why I love working with green horses.

Kevin and I competed at ExEL in June, even though we downgraded our division, I forced myself into an uncomfortable and unfamiliar environment. My nerves were high, but we overcame many challenges over the weekend. I know this is part of the journey, to season both him and myself. My desire to compete is driven by the goal of seeing Kevin become a relaxed and confident horse while improving my own skills. Perhaps by the end of this year, next year, or in a few years, we will both find our stride, and the stressful newness of showing will be behind us.

If you can relate to this remember, working through fear and anxiety is one of the hardest aspects of being an equestrian. Every rider, even the Leading Influential Equestrians and selected Olympians featured in this issue, have all faced challenges and fear in their training and with their horses. It’s okay to step back if it helps you regroup and move forward. Discomfort often signals that we are on the verge of significant growth. Be kind to yourself as you navigate challenges with your horse. And be kind to your horse. Don’t bully yourself; believe in your abilities, trust in your skills, invest the time, and embrace new experiences. Always remember, “Whenever you’re feeling moments of discomfort, that means true change is happening for you.” - John David Washington

Happy Horse Showing!
 

Lauren Abbott

Lauren is a lifelong equestrian. She was born and raised in Memphis, Tenn. Lauren has worked in Journalism for over 20 years and has served as a staff writer, designer, photographer, audience and business development consultant, & advertising senior executive. She is the Owner & Publisher of THR, and CEO of Ford Abbott Media, LLC, the parent company of The Horse Review and Hunt & Field Magazines.

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